Every now and then, someone asks me, “If life begins at the moment of fertilization, why do we celebrate birthdays, not conception days?”

Birthdays mark a special point when we celebrate new life. But, some people use birthdays to conclude that we don’t value life before that point.

It’s really an unobservant conclusion if you think about it. Just picture the bubbling joy of a young married couple who discovers they are pregnant for the first time. Or the sorrow of a couple who loses their baby in a miscarriage.

Recently a woman from northeastern Pa. shared her story with me — her personal response to the birthday question.

When she discovered she was pregnant with her second child, she was anxious to share the good news with everyone. She didn’t want to wait the recommended three months before telling people about the new baby.

Then she and her husband received bad news. The ultrasound tech couldn’t find their baby’s heartbeat. Their baby had died.

Months later, she reflected on her miscarriage:

The hardest thing about following the three-month rule, about not sharing news of a baby, is allowing the baby to go unnoticed. Unremembered.

I don’t feel I need need others’ sympathy, but I do want people to know about the Little One. I need them to know that we are no longer a family of three, even though only three toothbrushes are near the sink, three coats hang by the door and three heads lay on their pillows at night. One of us is not here.

My life is forever different.

It looks the same to most. There are no visible signs of change.

But my life is changed. And not merely changed back to what it was before I knew I was pregnant.

It changed once when we discovered the Baby was alive. It changed again when we discovered My Little One was gone. (Read more here.)

Her’s is a sad but beautiful answer. Her little boy or girl never had a birthday, yet he or she was loved and mourned. Her baby and every baby are valuable human beings from the very first moment of life.